so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
