I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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