Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
