I want to stick my p in your. b.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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