Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
