ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
