my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
