I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
