my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
