hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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