Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
