He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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