Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
