Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
