AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
