So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
