I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I enjoy the company of your penis
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
