You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
