can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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