I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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