Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
