Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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