you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
