yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
