When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
