I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
