you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
