My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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