...so i touched it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
