i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
