Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
barbara walters just said penis...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
