Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
