I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
