i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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