You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize