I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
