living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
