I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
