You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
