uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
