I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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