so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
