Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
