i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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