I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
