Im at strip club and am horny
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
