Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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