I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
