I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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