It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
