Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Randomize
